Monday, October 5, 2009

Is my shower vulnerable to a Psycho-esque attack?

This from Wikipedia regarding the famous "shower scene" from Psycho:

Leigh (the actress whose character got whacked in the scene) was so affected by this scene when she saw it, that she no longer took showers unless she absolutely had to; she would lock all the doors and windows and would leave the bathroom and shower door open. She never realized until she first watched the film how vulnerable and defenseless one is.

At first this got me chuckling, but then it got me thinking: Is my shower susceptible to a Norman Bates copycat? Have I been washing up with my guard down? If a transvestite serial killer tried to bring about my soapy demise, would I see it coming?

So I did some surveillance:

These shots are taken from the two entries to the bathroom- the left from the bedroom, the right from the hallway. As one can tell, unless the person showering has a disturbing fascination for cream colored walls, hence resulting in their backs being turned for an oddly long time, your typical knife-wielding maniac is going to have difficulty troubling you.

This is further evidenced by this shot:

This is from inside the shower. Awesome, I can shower in peace! Especially so given there is a lock on the left hand entry.

So a Psycho-esque attack seems unlikely. But wait! Whats that on the far right of the shot?

A window!

I'll just have to hope the Norman Bates copycat has not evolved from knives to sniper rifles. Though with that door closed, I'm still of the opinion my shower is an impenetrable fortress.

But wait....

Another window!

Sneaky architect bastards!

The shot is taken from right about where my head would be. This could be problematic. Lets check out the danger from another angle.

Well good luck making that shot.

And that picture is taken with the assistance of the back of my car in stepladder mode.

So basically in order for a sniper to get into this brilliant position, they would most likely need to infiltrate my family first, then be in the area at the same time as I'm having my shower, AND then step on my car, AND NO-ONE TOUCHES MY HOON-MOBILE!

Also, he (or she! I said "or she"! Jeez!) would have to hope I would be relatively still in the shower. This is unlikely, as this is where I work on my Matthew Bellamy-style air guitar.

Nonetheless, given my showers are morning affairs, I'll be watching the milkman rather closely from now on (Mysterious bastard! Who do you think you're fooling, dropping off the milk at our doorstep ninja style? Leaving before we get a glimpse of you... pfft).

All that said, for all those Norman Bates copycats, I'd rate my shower as somewhere between "impossible" to "difficult" for an attack. For snipers, given the infiltration requirement, it would probably fall into the same category.

I would recommend a more guerrilla style attack, something along the lines of the pet Tarantula in Jungle To Jungle (starring Tim Allen and Martin Short) where the sight of a massive arachnid squeezing under the door would cause a massive fall on my part.

("Sneaky Architect Bastards" was taken from Freeman's Mind, check it on YouTube. Its filled to the brim with extreme awesomeness).

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